“Loneliness is not a fault but a condition of existence” – Ivan Albright
It is common knowledge that most artists in some way are lonely (and that it can cause drug/alcohol addiction). For some, it is a choice, for others it is a battle. Growing up, I always had this creative side to me that I found hard to share with other people. It was difficult making friends and going out because all I wanted to do was sit and draw or paint or create. My parents tried to encourage me to put my pens down and go out and play some sports, and I was lucky enough to have some friends that have stuck by me. But when it comes down to it, I am alone, the only thing keeping me company is my art.
As an artist, happiness comes from creating, it’s my passion and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Though I don’t want to be lonely, I do choose to be alone. I can only get my imagination when I am in my private space, separate from other people and the outside world.
I don’t think about being lonely a lot, and I am kept busy by new projects and creations, and constantly trying to grow with my art. Though from time to time, loneliness comes up and bites me. Sometimes I’m high on drugs, other times I am sober, but I will start thinking about my life, and what I have to show for it. I am sharing my life with my art, and that is it, no kids, no wife. I always remind myself, and this was my choice, and if I fear my loneliness, it could destroy me as an artist. If you’re interested in more reading, check out this wonderful post about the art of loneliness.
I have had relationships in the past, a couple of which were serious. Nevertheless, they almost all ended because I couldn’t share enough of myself. I always put my art first. I do hope that one day I will learn to be able to make a relationship work alongside my art, but when I meet the right woman. At the moment though, as my work is finally getting a name and becoming appreciated, I need to put everything I can into it.
I try to fight the loneliness sometimes. Though I would rather be locked up in my studio crafting something incredible, I do try to make myself go out and be social now and again. When I have been isolated for a long time, I may start to feel down. I may get a mind block, where I feel stuck with my art, and I need inspiration. Going out and seeing friends does this for me, though I don’t always feel completely comfortable at first, I almost always enjoy myself and also get some inspiration. Going to new places and traveling also helps me with ideas and stimulation for new work.
I have taught myself, however, to stay positive no matter what. Sometimes it is difficult, but thinking positively throughout your life is the key to staying happy. Though I am alone, I do have friends and family that I can turn to if needed. The most important thing I have though is my art, and we are growing together. At the moment, I am content with that.