As an artist, you have to go through a lot of criticism, and I have gotten used to people judging me all the time. I have recently come to realize that I don’t need approval from everyone, and to let go of the fear and worries inside of me. It was hard though.
As I struggled through the years, listening to the negative thoughts of people around me only made thing worse. I was constantly being told “forget about art, you are never going to get anywhere, never going to make money. Just move on, grow up and get a real job”. It was difficult hearing this all the time, and not let it get to me.
Deep inside of me, I knew one day I would get there and that people would appreciate my work. Sometimes, however, I would think about giving up. Hearing all of this, plus I was struggling money wisely, I thought, okay, maybe it is time to think about something else. Maybe I should study something and get myself a real job. Maybe I wanted a family someday. I couldn’t carry on living in a rented flat, doing any part time job to pay the bills and painting in my spare time.
All I wanted was for people to enjoy my work, and to believe in me. Sure, I had many people that loved my work and told me I was amazing, and that someday people would be buying my creations all over the place. I knew it would happen too, but it is certainly difficult when it has been years and nothing is improving. At the same time, I felt like I was holding myself back because of all the negativity around me, and that there was more to me, and more to my art. I just couldn’t reach it.
Then I started experimenting with drugs. If everyone knew now I was taking drugs, they would think I had gone crazy and was slowly spiraling into a deep hole of nothingness. But for me, it was like I had woken up. My artwork came alive, and so did I.
It was then that I reached a place within myself, where I thought, why do I care about what everyone else says and thinks about me? It’s my life and my choices. I will choose what I want to do, I know what makes me happy, and if I believe in myself, that’s the most important.
So no more anxiety, no more fear and holding myself back. I learnt to think positively about everything. Sure, I will get criticism about my work, and about taking drugs, but now I can just let it go over my head and stay optimistic about everything. Now I am reaching my goal in life; people appreciate what I do, and I am so grateful. Everything in life becomes easier if you learn to think positively. It wipes away the stress and improves your confidence and overall well-being. It undoubtedly worked for me.