After I had started smoking weed, I read some articles about artists experimenting with different drugs and seeing the effects it had on their work. Bryan Lewis Saunders, for example, was an artist who did a self-portrait of himself every day. When it started to get boring, he began taking different types of drugs and if you check out the images online and compare each image, some of them had amazing and insane effects. It seems like drugs have a magical influence on artists of all kinds, painters, musicians, authors, composers, actors and more. Many talents have been amplified by the use of drugs throughout history. I started to think, well if the marijuana had that effect on me, what would happen if I tried other drugs?
It is common knowledge that most artists in some way are lonely (and that it can cause drug/alcohol addiction). For some, it is a choice, for others it is a battle. Growing up, I always had this creative side to me that I found hard to share with other people. It was difficult making friends and going out because all I wanted to do was sit and draw or paint or create. My parents tried to encourage me to put my pens down and go out and play some sports, and I was lucky enough to have some friends that have stuck by me. But when it comes down to it, I am alone, the only thing keeping me company is my art.
As an artist, happiness comes from creating, it’s my passion and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Though I don’t want to be lonely, I do choose to be alone. I can only get my imagination when I am in my private space, separate from other people and the outside world.
I will always remember this day. I know it sounds cheesy, but it was like the beginning of a turning point in my life. I began to realize things that I had never thought about before, and think about things in a different way. My artwork began to change significantly too. It was as if smoking that little green bud transformed me into an even more creative person.
I had smoked weed here and there over the years, but it was normally after I had a few drinks down me, so I never felt the full effects of it. I had always just assumed that it made you paranoid, hungry and giggle like a little girl. A few of my friends had suggested it to me, but I Read more →
As an artist, you have to go through a lot of criticism, and I have gotten used to people judging me all the time. I have recently come to realize that I don’t need approval from everyone, and to let go of the fear and worries inside of me. It was hard though.
As I struggled through the years, listening to the negative thoughts of people around me only made thing worse. I was constantly being told “forget about art, you are never going to get anywhere, never going to make money. Just move on, grow up and get a real job”. It was difficult hearing this all the time, and not let it get to me.